You get so used to it, negativity; negative opinions, negative people, negative everything. Always quick to point out what you do wrong. It’s emotional abuse. Fingers always being pointed at you, telling you how wrong you are, how wrong you dress and how wrong you walk or even talk. Thing is eventually you develop a thick skin and learn to literally not care.
I don’t mean the dramatic, attention seeking “oh i don’t care about anything anymore sentiment” That’s just forced and kind of dumb because i bet if someone shot your knee cap you would care. If you do care, then that means you never stopped carrying about “anything” as you so idiotically put it. The thick skin i’m referring to is being emotionally detached. So detached to your emotions that you can practically laugh at kittens being burnt to death. Yeah i know its sick, but i’m trying to emphasis a point.
Some call it cruelty. It’s not cruelty, its thinking rationally, Its removing yourself from thoughts influenced by unnecessary emotions. I don’t mean completely devoid of emotions, because that’s impossible, well, lets just say improbable.
Some see it as a sad state, they see it as you giving up. Again that’s far from the truth. For example personally speaking, love and all that settling down stuff is not something that forms part of plans, not in the short term, not in the long term, possibly not ever. I don’t see that as happiness at all. Maybe my thoughts have been influenced by a lot of negativity. Its possible, but its also possible that is just an excuse. There’s people out there who have been through far worse, infact compared to them all these superficial, barely depressing problems i have had in my life would be like paradise to them. Infact maybe i didn’t have it that bad, metaphorically speaking.
Maybe i was just born to be emotionally detached. To be honest i’m beginning to worry about this post because i actually think i’ve lost the plot. I barely know what i am writing about anymore. That’s the problem, i have a tendency to write things without actually thinking of what i am going to write about. I just get this line in my head which keeps repeating itself and then decide to write it out, as if i am compiling a chronicle of my thoughts. A chapter into the abyss that is my mind.
Anyway, got to go, actually don’t have to go, just don’t feel like writing more. Cheerss